That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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