my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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