id be glad to
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
