Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
