office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
