Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
