Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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