I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
