Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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