We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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