There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
