You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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