there was a trapeze. enough said
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
