Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
