the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
