Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
