What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Girls should come with a carfax report
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
