so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
