she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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