next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
