he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
