I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
