Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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