I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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