I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
