I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
