I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
