if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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