nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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