your thong is hanging out like whoa
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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