My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
