I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
