you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
