Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What drink are we having for lunch?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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