So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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