I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize