there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
