you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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