Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
