Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
PANTIES FOUND
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
