yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
