So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
