How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
