White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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