new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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