I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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