Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
