the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
