She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
