We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
