I'm going to jail i love you
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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