whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
