Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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