So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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