So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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