He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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