So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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