Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
