I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
