Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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