i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
