Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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