you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize