Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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