Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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