GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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