So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize