idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
