# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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