Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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